Reviews of games I haven't, and probably never will, play

Okay so I just sat down for a few hours and brewed up, downloaded me some free game demos from Playstation's store. I only got a few, I'll go back and get some more later, I'm quite keen on Mirrors Edge and Alone in the Dark, but I got one of my first loves of the superconsoles -
Dead Space.

I heard it was quite short, which I always try to steer clear of in games, so that kind of put me off buying it, at least not before I tried the demo or rented it out or something. Way back when it came out a few months back my first impressions from various trailers, gameplay and synopses (yes sometimes I'm sad enough to keep up with the affairs of games from consoles I don't even own) it looked like an amazing game, I'm always a sucker for anything zombies, so despite amazing graphics, sound, story and gameplay dynamics, somehow it didn't get the incredible reviews I felt it deserved.

I haven't completed the demo, nor have I experienced anything other than what the demo provides, but I'll give my opinions nevertheless, because thats what I freakin' do.

Atmosphere
Each part of the level, each room even has its own different feel to it. Textures and sounds of that room are pretty unique, and visually it looks incredible. It plays very nicely and it just generally feels good. Then the monsters came. I think the best tension in a game is from the anticipation of when they might come, not necessarily when they are coming at you. I went through the level at least 3 times waiting for a zombie to nom at me when I knew there wasn't actually going to be any till I got into the next room, but it really does set the atmosphere so that this kind of stuff takes effect.
The fact that some portions of th game are in zero-gravity makes the experience unique to any other zombie game; one would imagine that having enemies attack from any and every angle in the dead silence of space would be pantwettingly tense.

Enemies
The zombies themselves are just above average I'd say. Sure, they're good, they do the right amount of damage, and respond in the way you'd expect them to - i.e. if you shoot a leg off, they don't just die, they crawl over to you, etc. which is good, but I'm not really sure what, but something makes them look a little bit... mechanic.

Weapons
A large part of why I choose a game happens to be the weapons it contains. Its weird, and not usually a major thing for people but there you go.
I quite like the fact that you have a big melee knuckle slicy thing. It doubles up as a plasma gun, and for the word 'Plasma' alone, I instantly like it. Just a nice word isn't it? Well whatever, it's powerful enough to do enough damage, but not too much, so it feels realistic but not too difficult.
Every game needs a ridiculously overpowered gun, and the 'C99 Supercollider Contact Beam' certainly sounds like one of those guns. It brings me way back to my quake II days, BFG 10k was and always will be my favourite ever gun.

What else, I guess voice acting seems ok. Quite the opposite of like, I dunno... Turok 2: Seed of Evil par examplé. All the buttons seem to be in all the right places, and the menu system is all simple and nice. The method of showing that a door is locked and if you'd like to open it is okay, but I dunno, I feel it should be improved from actually having the word 'locked' hovering over it. Maybe if it said that on a display I wouldn't feel like I was playing a game? I dunno.

I really can't find many flaws with the game though, other than the cripplingly short gameplay and little things, which you'd expect every game to have, really.


I also downloaded Stuntman: Ignition, purely because me and my mate would spend hours, days, bloody weeks on the game, trying to complete the thing. The first one was good. The second one is... better? I mean its got better graphics, but it just doesn't work the same way as the first one did. The car seems quite hard to control, and the accelerator button is R2, (the bottom/right shoulder button) which I personally find kind of difficult to hold down. Its uncomfortable to say the least. They should/could have just moved it up a button, or maybe given the player the option to change the controls. I don't know, but yeah it seems pretty okay. I'd stick with the first one personally, but I've only played the demo so I can't really judge.


I'm kind of disappointed at some of the superconsole games, I mean I know that no game is flawless, but I'm not really sure how far wrong you can go with this much experience and trial and error.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm not really sure games are 'games' any more. Mario was a game; Pacman was a game, you didn;t give a shit that you were a yellow cirle eating dots and running away from ghosts through a maze with a time/space portal and giant pixelated cherries in it. But now somehow everyone cares about every detail. Everything has to be beleivable, everything has to be pefect. Whilst playing Resistance 2, I was constantly looking at the enemies wondering about how they would evolve from a human,a nd whether they're realistic in their biological make-up. That's not what I did in Mario. Games these days rely maybe a little too much on story and visuals that they're more like films (or 'interactive films', as Narayan said in my documentary).

I think at their heart games are still games, because you control the actions of the main character, but what with cutscenes I'm not so sure I feel as much like its me rather than the actual character in the game. They're still games, just a new type of game.

GAME. GAMEGAMEGAMER.