it makes me sick how inactive blogger is now

Yeah I know I said I'd retired from this old sack, but I'm back. Fucking moan about it some more jesus, lets just get this over and done with, neither of us want to be here now do we.

I am such a cunt. I know I usually come on here, have a go at myself, moan about shit, talk about philosophy and all that cunting business, but its true. I am a cunt. I hate myself for it, but no one gets hurt, so it is a very tame addiction I'll give you that. Anyway, it is horrible. Unless something can stop me, I'm going so far away for so long. I'm not even sure if I want to go. Its perfect, yeah. Make a shitload of money, get a house, job, car, and go out drinking every night. Maybe its not the version of perfect that I wanted, but its there for me. I guess I see my life differently to other peoples, I don't know why but it just seems that things like that don't matter too much. I could quite happily live my life out in a flat in milton keynes on minimum wage, as long as I was happy. I think the real thing is just never to mistake being rich for having riches. No one should let money control their life. Money is easy to come by, but other stuff isn't.

If I do go, I'd be set for life, instantly. As soon as I get there probably, I'll be put in my own house, and get straight to fucking OWNING this already set-up company. It really is amazing, just goes to prove that its all based on luck and saying the right things, who you know, not what you know. Truth be told, its nice just to be trusted for once. I'm still not sure if I want it though.

There is nothing for me here in england. I'm not even sorry when I say that. You're all the biggest bunch of letdowns I've met. It doesn't mean I won't miss you more than i miss my family, but it does mean that I wish there was something to miss.

At least there I can start again, make a better first impression, begin my life.

I have no idea what to feel. But I do know that I will miss bacon more than I'll miss this place. I will never look back. I'd like to say you should make the most of me while I'm here, but it'd be pointless. Neither of us want that. I'll just go without saying goodbye and never come back.

And I'm not even sorry.