The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse

I regret wasting my life not taking in some of the culture the world has to offer. Actually, let me start again.

I regret feeling like I've wasted my life not taking in some of the culture the world has to offer.

I just need someone to help me. Someone to talk to about this stuff. I feel quite strongly about music, but I only showed an interest in it at a very late age, so my knowledge of it is very slim. As I'm sure you've witnessed - my capability to create music with structure is pitiful, so thats something I'd like to work on, even if i don't apply it. It's definatly not like it would take any time to do, just listen to a couple of songs and write out the structures, then apply them, or even just listen to some songs. Whatever, I don't know how you'd do it. But it just feels like I've lost that... piece of my mind that I used to have (the ability to create and 'hear' music, rather than just listening to it) which worries me slightly. I mean its not much of a shock, because its happened with a lot of stuff; music, art and general philosophical thought have all taken a massive slide since roughly two years ago (who knows what happened, but I'd bank on a brain tumour!). Its definatly not just my perception of art which is what I'd originally banked on, because comparing some of my sketches to something I do now, the artistic suggestion and pencil control is so much better.

I'm just getting lazy.

I think everyone has the potential to have as much talent as anyone else (not necessarily in the same areas but just generally), I think that people already have everything they need to be whatever they want, but I also think that everyone is different and for some people things come easier, and until you learn how you work, then you won't necessarily be able to.

I didn't really have any kind of aim in this blog and I haven't really been concentrating because my head has been spinning since two years ago.

Now I'm going to go finish my book and be happy!