I stay up so late just so I can experience that abense of sound.

Dear The Internet,

I'm sorry we fell out, I said some harsh things which we both know weren't true. Let's never fight again.

Love Jamie.

P.S

A lot of things are changing right now. I heard from a good friend of mine, I beleive he is a Hindu, that man goes through a major shift at a certain point on the calender, it seems like now is the time. Everyone I know is changing jobs, moving out, leaving college, starting families, starting relationships, ending relationships. Its interesting how it all happens at once. I'm not religious, but I do think there is some truth in some of the basis of religion, you know? I'm open minded, but I do have strong opinions.

I hate sounding preachy, but I feel its worth a mention that I am a very firm believer in the law of attraction. I know I know, it sounds crazy. I sound crazy. Whatever you want to think, I think it works. Hell, I know it works. Not with everything, obviously, ootherwise I would be God. No, but money and opportunity does seem to come very easily to me. That's the only thing I can seem to make work in this world, and funnily enough its the least thing I actually want, I can't seem to get rid of it. Money is a weird thing. Wanting it isn't necessarily bad, but needing it is. The only way to get money is by earning it in some way. Money won in a lottery won't bring you wealth and riches, it'll just bring you hollow money. Wishing for it won't make it come, but once you learn what it really is, it might just come a little bit easier to you. Your life is whatever you make it, and if you make it dependant on money, then you will probably have money problems, or at least perceive them as the worst thing ever.

Moving on, I decided on what I was going to pack the other day, and came to the conclusion that it would be nothing. I am packing nothing. Part of starting a new life is making sacrifices of the old one, and I guess I will. I'll take my laptop and a couple grand walking around money but otherwise I am travelling light. Handluggage only, no bags to check in and a muffin to go.

I think while I'm out there, I will dress ridiculously in my downtime. I guess it's kind of like a quarter-life crisis in a way. I'm comfortable enough just to do what I want, which is something that hasn't happened in a while. Aaron suggested I buy a new look every week, and blog about it. He said it would make it easier to not miss me if he knows I am having fun.

I think this is a marvellous idea.

I am feeling markedly more positive about it now, although I am usually like that with new things. Thank you friends for making it seem not so bad. I am sorry I have been horrible to you, I will miss you but I will not say goodbye.

I will have a lot of time on my hands while I am there, I may need a hobby or two. I will try and write this novel and draw it as well. Just for fun really. I may have to take my camera (video and stills) and use them for work purposes, but I will have fun. I enjoy doing these things, but I want something else too. I'm not really sure. Something fairly free, enjoyable, and with a lot of scope. Might just start playing videogames, watch more movies or listen to music, get some taste and culture.

Well here begins my fashion blog, I will do the real thing on my shiny shiny Tumblr, but here goes!

As soon as I'm getting out there, I am going to buy a watch, a nice watch. An interesting one. And the second I get a postcode, I'm ordering one or two silly hats, and maybe head down to the tailors to get some clothes made or something. Also I would need some shoes, and some smart casual workclothes. Something which says "I'm ready to work, but I'm laid back about the whole ordeal." A novelty piano tie perhaps. Or a t-shirt which a tuxedo design on it. Out of work I'm definitely going to look like I'm from japan and/or gay, but I can live with that. Its the price you pay for looking ridiculous.

I don't have plans to go out, but I do have big plans to do as little work as possible, and spend the entire time just chilling out. The drinking age is 21 out there, and you need a license to drink at home, so I guess party life is off the table. That's a bit of a relief if I'm honest, I know people out there who will destroy my liver before I'm even out of the airport. I won't be far from the beach, and the views from various buildings will be incredible, the culture is so rich out there. I will make the most of it, shake a lot of hands, meet a lot of people, learn the language, eat the meals, see the sights and just live.


I hope you enjoyed this blog.

it makes me sick how inactive blogger is now

Yeah I know I said I'd retired from this old sack, but I'm back. Fucking moan about it some more jesus, lets just get this over and done with, neither of us want to be here now do we.

I am such a cunt. I know I usually come on here, have a go at myself, moan about shit, talk about philosophy and all that cunting business, but its true. I am a cunt. I hate myself for it, but no one gets hurt, so it is a very tame addiction I'll give you that. Anyway, it is horrible. Unless something can stop me, I'm going so far away for so long. I'm not even sure if I want to go. Its perfect, yeah. Make a shitload of money, get a house, job, car, and go out drinking every night. Maybe its not the version of perfect that I wanted, but its there for me. I guess I see my life differently to other peoples, I don't know why but it just seems that things like that don't matter too much. I could quite happily live my life out in a flat in milton keynes on minimum wage, as long as I was happy. I think the real thing is just never to mistake being rich for having riches. No one should let money control their life. Money is easy to come by, but other stuff isn't.

If I do go, I'd be set for life, instantly. As soon as I get there probably, I'll be put in my own house, and get straight to fucking OWNING this already set-up company. It really is amazing, just goes to prove that its all based on luck and saying the right things, who you know, not what you know. Truth be told, its nice just to be trusted for once. I'm still not sure if I want it though.

There is nothing for me here in england. I'm not even sorry when I say that. You're all the biggest bunch of letdowns I've met. It doesn't mean I won't miss you more than i miss my family, but it does mean that I wish there was something to miss.

At least there I can start again, make a better first impression, begin my life.

I have no idea what to feel. But I do know that I will miss bacon more than I'll miss this place. I will never look back. I'd like to say you should make the most of me while I'm here, but it'd be pointless. Neither of us want that. I'll just go without saying goodbye and never come back.

And I'm not even sorry.

Lots of people seem very happy

Its weird.

People aren't usually happy. But now most of the people I know seems to have their own personal victories and fresh starts. Which is very nice.

I would appreciate it so much if any of my readers could find me something to colour for practice =]

(Yeah I know I've talked about it about a million times and everyone knows and it was boring news to start with, but I just want to put it here as a diary kind of thing.)

Also its quite exciting to me... My first contracted art job :S not to mention the first published thing I've worked on, and the first thing thats had a huge fanbase, and not just like 2 readers hah!

I just feel like writing in really small paragraphs.

Here is a Socrates for you all because I feel nice.

Colourist (continued)

I got the test sheets to colour, and she gave me a little more info about it. The comics aren't as religiousy as I thought, its actually a comic with a story, and it actually looks... friggin' sweet! She's already publishing them, whether its in an actual shop, online, or what I'm not entirely sure.

I'll post the coloured pages here once I've done them, should have them up here by Sunday. I don't mind if you see or critique them, its just nice to make this blog a little more interesting.

Also theres a possiblity for a cut in the money but I'm not too fussed. I guess Cutman will want some, it's the only reason he hangs around with me.

He frikkin' does, too.*




*I'm trying a new thing where I draw stuff for blogs within a minute as a nice way to get back into art, its been a months...

Just got offered a job

Being a colourist for a comic. 3-5 pages a week, its about religion or something. Voluntary (although I volunteered it to be voluntary), because I always love some good experience, of course. And what better way to make someones day by giving them free stuff and helping, yeah?

I think I'll take it, although I need to do an example page and I might not get the job because maybe I suck.

ALSO its a ridiculous workload for no pay, what with college and all. I'll see what the low-down is when I email her asking exactly what a 'low-down' is.

BUT HEY COOL ANYWAY RIGHT?