FRIST BLOG LOOL

I just realised I hadn't blogged from my new EEE 901 mini laptop yet, so here goes. I had a thought today, as I was waiting around, seeing what WiFi I could sponge off of, what would be really neat is if someone with an ultraportable did like an almost-constant streaming video blog of their life. That'd be sweet. I'm not saying I'd want to do it, because I don't, but maybe I'd watch it if it was real. If this does actually exist, then please link me to it! I'd probably be pretty interested.

Anyway, hello internet, it has been some time. I really do enjoy using this little laptop, mini things are much nicer than human sized things in my opinion. Its not too mini to be unusable, but its mini enough to be very portable and convenient, so it's good. I am glad I purchased it, it's totally worth the ridicule from Patrick and Narayan.

Like the nerd I am, I've spent the last 2 days making it supersweet and also downloading a bunch of nerdy wallpapers for the desktop, mainly zombies, Japanese style and Pocoyo but good ones nonetheless.

I am helping David with his FMP tomorrow, which kind of reminded me that I really desperately need to be doing mine. Can't wait for editing, it will be the most fun. But hopefully if I have a good cast and crew then filming should be pretty fun too. As long as I get off my ass and take some charge. Should only take a few days to blast out, and will be rad. If you fancy helping me then please do!! I'll return the favour, even if you don't then I'll still help you with anything because I'm awesome. Well, I wish I was, so I guess thats enough.

Hmmmmyeah so this was a fairly short blog, I kind of used up all my blogging power and now I suck.

end

sploshun

I haven't blogged for a while, not that I ever really 'blogged' in the first place but nevertheless here I am.

My sister is down for a bit, so thats nice. Don't see much of her really, her living in Dubai making ridiculous amounts of money and all. I bought her a nice present for her birthday so she can take it back with her.

It is mothers day tomorrow. Or realy its today, but whatever. I hope we don't go to manchester like I heard rumours of. We're going out to a restaurant courtesy of me, I feel a little too rough to go out. Sounds selfish but its just me being horrible.

I want to write a book, and I don't know why I'm not. Same with this comic. I guess I just wanted to get all this purchasing and money stuff out the way first, now it is I can relax and get on with my stuff.

I bought myself a tiny little laptop about an hour ago, and it will be here on friday. I'm quite excited about it, I had a look round Cambridge today to see what one was like in the flesh, and I really like it. So hopefully my one will serve me well. At 230 something quid it was fairly cheap so no worries if not, you know?

So thats a laptop, a Wii, dinner and a night out treating people to drinks, and a mothers day dinner out. I hope EMA get their shit together, then maybe I'd get all that stuff FO' FREE.

How my waitering savings have lasted me this long I don't know. I need to get a job soon. I want to keep up my record of never ever borrowing money from anyone since I was 16, but I hate working, and I have no idea what I'd do anyway.

Hmm.

I don't want to wait 5 days, it makes me sadfase.

I want more ps tripple gamez.

PLx maek moar good gamez.

Jamie out

Blog for no apparent reason.

Just thought I'd update. Nothing on my mind really, I just like blogging. I will lay it out like bullet points because I feel like it.

Want to start my artsy awesome amazingly deep comic no one will get.

A car had a fucking go at me this morning.

Listening to dubstep due to Dave.

Checking out ultraportable laptops on the internet. With much joy and also crippling defeat.

I want the EEE 901 (eee are well known in the mini laptop world).

Mostly its extortionately priced. But still found a couple for a good price.

I suddenly remember as a kid of 15 wanting parking sensors in my coat.

That coat was my life.

I enjoy coats.

Probably psycological.

Facebook layout is fine stop moaning. Look how far it got you last time doucheflicks.

I need to tidy this shithole up a bit.

Need to do something new with my hair + clothes.

Getting over a weak cold.

Mini laptops are sweet.

Want.

I ate chinese takeaway. (Que Patrick: "I'm sooooo fulllll")

Jo was shocked I owned a camera.

Jo is a cunt to me sometimes.

He's called Jo, (or technically Jo') stop spelling it Joe, faggots!

Please don't correct me on that, Narayan, I honestly don't care.

That was a joke, but I have a feeling you's probably have something to say about it.

Not in an offensive way.

Its lateish.

I want to do lots of creative stuff but I feel stunted mentally at the moment. Needs moar blood.

Need to buy more PS tripple gamez.

Might try, and fail, that pass-in-5-days driving thing (100% guarantee (except not)). Sounds like fun!

Need to learn to drive.

Want a nice reliable car.

Want to hear from someone via email. Business is slow.

Nervous.

I religiously watch scrubs late-night.

I secretly love the show Dark Angel.

Jessica Alba is hot.

I want rice.

I want jelly.

I want cake.

I want to write you all letters when you go to uni.

I don't even care how gay that sounds.

I fuckin love Haiku's

I wish I could fund a bunch of funny ones I did ages ago.

Nerd-related, of course.

I really want surveys to have Ethnicity: White - Irish [_] Nerdy [X]

Would like a job so I can feel good spending all my hard-earned savings.

Gonna make my website in notepad. It is going to fucking rule.

Dreamweaver's for suckas.

I secretly like Macs.

Water is good.

Linux may be good but I think Windows is better for now.

[Note to self: maybe start on Lindows?]

Twitter>Facebook

I went there.

Want to hook my rotary dial phone up to my PC

Shouldn't be blogging, should be doing important things.

Hopefully won't need to get up too early tomorrow.

Early being before 2pm

What should I get a job in?????

Narayan and I are funi. Narayan mostly - no - entirely, but I was there:



Out of context?

Hope the gif works.

It didn't.

Need to redo a bunch of college assignments.

FML?

Nah no sweat.

I don't understand how or why people get so emotional about shit.

Especially things out of their control.

Like work.

Although granted Documentary got on me a bit.

I've changed.

Change is godo.

Can't wait for Lappy Lappingson McTopsworth. E tripple. The Epic (thanks Narayan for that one)

Lemons is the name of my new comic.

I want to keep you updated on it.

You do not want to hear it.

You will love it.

Bigheaded? No, just awesome.


Comment with something epic please! Maybe replies to bullet points, maybe your own bullet points. I certainly like this style of blogging.

Something about the spring

It just makes me feel weird. Like an attack of the senses, and all of them bad haha

It reminds me of cracked eggs and warm, watered down apple juice. Yuk. You probably don't understand what I mean, but maybe you do so I'll blog about it. On the plus side, my senses seem to be heightened in the daytime now, as opposed to just in the mornings, its so nice just to be that little bit more aware of everything, but it also makes me feel a bit weird, mixes up my senses a little. I don't know why, my nervous system is just not right.

You know when people say 'it'll click sooner or later' when you don't understand something, well that happened to me today, only when it happens to me, it happens majorly. Like, if I'm in the right mindset I can just understand how something works, or understand just... everything about a subject. Its probably the same for everyone else, if not easier, but I like it when it happens. I just understand things I never even learned.

Anyway it happened today, and I feel a lot more in control with my physical self, and my mind feels a lot clearer now it can cope with that burden. It all just clicked, now I feel like I can sort it out without any effort at all. I think its part of the rum-detox week I've had. I just feel new, like I've been taken apart, had all my atoms cleaned and polished, then put back together.

In this clear mind-set, I will begin my comic, it will be very psychological and everything will be very in tune with how I think and linked to me mentally, because obviously the sleep deprivation, and the fact that when I improvise, my hand just goes off without me.

Some personal (health related) records beat which I am very happy with. So woo, go me.
This monopoly production company seems to be going well. I will let you in on it when something happens I'm sure.

I ought to check in and see if anyone important has emailed me, my website servers have been haxX0rd, so maybe don't visit abysscomics (if you were intending) to for a while. I don't know if its been infected, but just to be safe. As a word of warning, lay low for a while, its a big server so maybe don't go to any websites you're not all that familiar with, just for a week or so until it gets sorted out.


Surf safe,
Jamie

The Ultimate Answer and Philosophy

Don't be a dick.

Concept art if you like

Heres the first concepts for this new psychological mess of a comic if you're interested in the progress. Even if you're not I'm still posting it.

Sleep Deprived Buzzwords

To get inspiration for comics, I usually think of the idea or draw out the pilot when I am heavily sleep deprived. I feel it is time for another comic, so I did the same thing but I did more than usual, to bulk the story up a bit. Lets take a look at the results:

Robots
Bar/pub
Chocolate milk = beer
Clocks/watches
Silent comic parts
Flying chairs
Diary
Sleep Deprivation
Hats
Curse
Talking motorbikes
Doctors
Stabby stabby
Acid
Super happy funtime
Rotary dial telephone
Capes
Teddy bears
Piano-based novelty ties
Glasses
Lamp
Goldfish
Snow
Moon
Yellow
Flannel
Mint choc-chip ice cream
Chocolate
Black robot
Frankenstein
Vocabulary/language
Fire/hell
Manners
Balloon dogs
Clowns
Plastic duckies
Lemons
Soy sauce
3 piece suit
Unnecessary wheat production
Goggles

So that is it. I tried to make sense of this and it actually might turn out quite well. I orignally thought it would be an excellent silent comic, but then I thought maybe the story's too complex, so I changed that to silent characters instead.

If you would like, you can comment with the kind of story those buzzwords paint for you :)

fin

I've heard heroes have good dental

I feel like I have neglected my blog a bit. I mean SURE, its never really going to be that interesting, but I guess for some people, maybe someone who is a bit slow-witted (the larger portion of the internet, in other words) or maybe if people are bored, or want to get to know people a little better, or maybe just people who want to feel better about their own problems by listening to other peoples. Like a soap opera but good.

Anyway, the point is, I love to blog, and I love to read other peoples blogs. Its something to get away to, to look forward to, a release from aloneness and from the people who you might not want to open up to. Your own little post-it note on the billboard of the world.

Good, so with that over, I will begin to ramble on about shit that makes no sense or is pointless for a length of time which is slightly longer than everyone elses, just because I'm a competitive little bitch like that.

I guess something which is new is a strong urge to know about everything nerdy. Before, I will be honest, I enjoyed the idea of superhero films, but I never really watched them much, or took any kind of active interest in the genre. But these days thats changed quite a lot. I'm not entirely sure why, but I think it was something to do with last years incredible superhero-summer, where they released some great superhero flicks, maybe even the most in one summer EVER?

Whatever, I enjoyed it, and then WATCHMEN comes out, and I think 'okay this is probably something I'd be interested in', so I research it, and I was right. I had heard of Watchmen before now, in fact I almost bought it way back when, then again when the re-print it came into stores whenever that was, maybe '08? And on Film4 they seem to have some kind of nerdfest going on, which I have been tuning into quite a bit.

Well then I got thinking, what is the fascination with heroes? I mean, thinking about it, its escapism isn't it, but I mean, why the balls do I enjoy watching the same generic hero film structure over and over? Ordinary guy, maybe he gets bullied at school, something happens with radiation, he gets superpowers, he beats the crap outta a bunch of people and gets the girl of his dreams.

I don't actually know, so don't expect a solution from me, but if YOU know, then please, feel free.

I also got thinking about why it hasn't happened yet. Like, why haven't people taken shit into their own hands if they like the idea of it so much. Although thinking a little further, the people who enjoy superhero flicks are pasty nerds who wouldn't know sunlight from a bowl of fruit.

So thats why.

In conclusion, I don't know what's wrong with the world. Nothing really. But maybe it'd be a little more awesome if there were some heroes in it, know what I'm saying?

fml

I agree with Aaron, yesterday WAS a good day. And so was yesterday night, well at least the bit I can remember was good.

I DRUNK TOO MUCH RUM.

I was painfully very hungover, until about 5 when the vomiting stopped, and I had a lovely time, just feeling relaxed, not having to do anything other than pamper myself with delicious hangover cures.

Anyway I haven't blogged in a while, so this is unfamiliar. Thank you Narayan for WATCHMEN. I haven't started reading it yet but I will, maybe before Death Note 2 : the sequel the movie the energy drink the adaptation the movie?


Whatever,
Jay out.

In pursuit of the perfect sandwich

Okay so I've been experimenting with different sandwiches lately, you know, throwing together whatever's in the cupboard, or whatever I think would go well together.

I just took a bite of my latest sandwich, and it is delicious. Now, I'm one of those awkward people who neither loves nor hates marmite, but I enjoy eating it, even though it tastes like it belongs in ones ear. Although, today I fancied it, and in the cupboard there was Tesco alternative Yeast Extract (now with added vitamin), so I very lightly toasted 2 slices of brown bread, and then splashed some soy sauce on (no butter), and then proceeded to spread on my Tesco alternative Yeast Extract (now with added vitamin). It is delicious. God knows how, but it just works.

In other news, I downloaded the Resident Evil 5 demo, and although none of you probably care, it was amazing. In fact, I may email Capcom and congratulate them on such a generous demo. Or maybe thats just the Tesco alternative Yeast Extract (now with added vitamin) talking, because there were some flaws with it, but overall I will be buying this game, and I have been pant-wettingly excited about it for some time now.

I watched Death Note on Film4 last night with Aaron on msn. I always like it when 2 people watch the same film and talk about it over the internet, its just nice. Anyway, the film itself was very good, and the anime looks alright too. I can see why Japanese fanboysandgurls make such a big fuss about it.

Speaking of geek. Watchmen is out on Wednesday, it would be lovely to go on opening night, but I think I am going the week after, which is awesome none the less. It looks like they really put the effort into this film, which is very relieving, because usually on big chances like this, they fuck up monumentally, or just don't pay attention to little things, which ruin it for the avid fans/massive nerds. They actually hired a scientist to work out if and how all the shit would work. And the director of photography actually used the famed graphic novel as a reference to how the whole thing will look, which I am unbelievably happy with, because as we all know - comics rule. And again, just that attention to detail. Apparently some script changes may not mean its entirely great (they have to cater to everyone, meaning they most likely dumb the whole thing down, flatten the characters and make it predictable and balls) BUT I guess we'll have to wait and see, I will remain optimistic.

The Watchmen crew is so nerdy it hurts:
Zack Snyder is directing, he also did the Dawn of the Dead remake. The guy who did the cinematography for Lost is doing it for Watchmen. The editor has previously worked on Fantastic Four 1&2 and I, Robot. The producers have worked on films like Hellboy, Tomb Raider, Predator, Timecop and The Dark Knight. And here comes the holy shit moment - David Hayter, the guy who voiced freaking SNAKE in the Metal Gear Solid games is doing the screenplay. I think I am having a nerdgasm. This is just too much.


You stay nerdy, San Diego

Curse of the Nines

Everyone dies. Actually, can I start that again? Everyone deserves a death. Mortality is what it is to be alive. Death is just part of being human. When I was a kid I always had this idea that I'd go out in some awesome, action packed pirate related circumstance on 9/9/09, no less. (I guess the date could be right!) But I suppose it just happens, you can't choose how or when, its just something thats decided for you. I'm not here to say 'Don't do this' or 'Stop being like that', in fact I don't even want you to listen, I just want to write down what I feel I need to because if it does disappear to the ether then I'd like it to be remembered somehow. I know you've heard the same stuff a thousand times, but maybe it is something I need to say. Just value life! Value every single second of it. Because my God is it short. Why do we treat days like days, when we could treat them like weeks? Treat life properly, don't do what I'm doing, I guess is what I'm trying to say.

Some people are afraid of death, me? No. I'm more terrified than afraid. But why? I don't really understand how someone can be afraid of something which is part of who they are? Something that will happen as sure as the sun will rise or our heart will beat. I would say it is a fear of the unknown, but humans are instinctively inquisitive, we always want to know 'whats under that rock', or 'what happens if I do this', so why not the same with death? People never usually like to talk about death, its one of those things that doesn't really tend to pop up in conversation, a lot of people are offended by the concept of it. But I have always seemed to be the one to spark it up. I just wonder, like everyone I suppose, is there somewhere we go? Is it heaven or hell? Is it reincarnation? Darkness? Nothing? I am not afraid of dying, that's a given, I'm more afraid of death. I'm afraid of the judgement, what if I haven't done the right things or been the right person? Well, maybe I am more afraid of the fact that there may be no judgement, just.... nothing.

Is there a right thing to do? How do you prepare for this? Religion? Should it be treated like accepting an addiction? Or does it just happen, catching you unaware? But if that is the case then what if your last thought is the wrong one? What if you're scratching your balls or drinking alcohol? There is no way to prepare, is there? I guess you just wait, but what kind of a life is that? Living for death is not any way to live. Its like this game I have, Ocarina of Time. I love it, but I will never finish it. Not because its hard, just because I don't want it to end. I'm not playing to finish it, I'm playing it for the enjoyment of playing it. Its the same with life, I don't live to die, I live to be alive. I just worry about these things, little things really. I mean death isn't the worst thing, death should never be hidden from or feared, it should be just one of those things that happens, another adventure in your life, not even an ending, a sunset is still only the start of the night, after all.

Death is just one of those things which is undefinable. You have to experience it yourself to know. I don't think death should be so heavily associated with religion. Like, 'If you die, you will go to hell unless you're a devoted Christian' or something. I think that instead of being born into a religion and almost brainwashed into one narrowminded way of life, we should each be able to choose what we want, take me for example. I wouldn't say my family are religious, but I think everyone in it would like to beleive there is something else, a guiding force, a heaven, etc., but its not any kind of devotion really, they don't go to church, or even pray, they all drink, but deep down they all think there is a greater force. When I was young I was a complete atheist, but then I kind of adopted a more spiritual point of view, I learned to be more open-minded to everything, and it changed me, it really did. I'd like to say for the better, but I guess thats relative depending on whats 'right'. When I say spiritual, I don't mean 'oh i believe in ghosts and magic and flowers' I mean like, fatalism, destiny, like religion but mixed with evolution, it changes quite frequently depending on what happens to me, which I think is the best way really - nothing should stay static.

But because I'm only taking morals and philosophies from other places, I've never really got round to thinking through what happens after death. I just can't seem to wrap my head around it. Everything else, yeah, I'll sit there and I'll think about something until it makes sense, but death is just something that's never clicked.

Maybe it's just like before we were born. Nobody knows what it was like before birth, hell I don't even know what happened up until I was about 2 or something. Maybe death is like an undoing of that. Maybe we just slip back into that state, whatever that was. Or maybe it was nothing. Just drift off into the void, not consious to anything, not even unconcious. Just nothing.

Or maybe it is some kind of creative... fountain. We all just fuel the future, shape the world, we are inspiration, we are life. Or maybe we are, collectively, God. Or maybe death invites us to become Gods, sculpting the lives of others, so that we can help with our experiences and advice at hand.

Maybe death happens because we finally accept it. Maybe the moment that we discover what it means, what there is beyond life, then we die. Or maybe the information is so incredibly powerful that we just die, in complete ecstacy that we finally know.

As I said, it is not important, just like wondering how the sun rises isn't important - its just nice, it happens. I don't need to know how it happens to enjoy it, but being human means I do.

Typety Typety Hitchcock Coursework Typety Type.

I would recommend not viewing the film 'Rear Widow' by Alfred Hitcock.

Definitely not what I wanted.

Anosmia

Firstly, thank you Ruth for following/stalking my blog. I think you made it a bit uneasy though, maybe drop the nightvision goggles? I clicked follow on yours a while back now, but I think I must've clicked cancel instead of ok. Thats because I'm cool, see.

Ok so this is the part where I say something interesting.

It probably sucks to have anosmia (I say probably because yes - I do have it, but no - I don't know what its like to not have it), but I suppose it does suck, having to live in mystery of what things smell like. Maybe it's contributed to who I am today. I've always thought upbringing is suer important in who you become, and its little things like that which do the trick. Anyway its pretty okay.

I'm lucky really, only losing smell/some taste. Could be worse. Could be much worse! If you're interested in a theory, I have a pretty cool one which sounds like its straight out of a comicbook.

How do I format this so its like I'm telling an anecdote at a bar... how about this?

"So it was 19 years ago, pretty much to the day, and my Mum and Dad went to the hospital so that she could have one of the biggest X-Rays ever. If there was like, a chart of X-Rays and the strengths they are, this would be at the top. Or maybe the bottom, depending on how they were sorted. Could be in the middle if its alphabetised. So they both go on in, and she has the X-Ray, that big one, and they get the results back soon enough, and they get called into this room thing. I don't really know, I wasn't there at the time. Well actually I was. This is from memory. So yeah I'm a foetus. Anyway, they asked them both 'were you expecting some awesome kind of baby called future jamie?' and they were all like 'nah blud' and the Doctors were like 'truth dawg'. And then there was this silence. 'What do we do?' Abortion was their only answer 'Fuck that we ain't getting sued for this shit' I remember the Doctors being so helpful. But basically, if I wasn't disabled or some shit, I'd be dead from childhood leukemia before I was 10. I don't blame them, I'm just glad they were arrogant enough for my parents to ignor what they had to say. Sure I was an accident, but I'm glad I lived to tell the tale. And that is my tale.

With the scars to prove it."

Great now I can't get out of blockquote. Well thats it, one day my foetus might tell you part 2, which may be linked to part one! Not even I know for sure!

I've been up here all night thinking about this, thinking about my destiny.

I stayed up last night. Just thinking. Trying to fix this, trying to win back some mental normality on this situation I've found myself in.

I know everyone has problems, and I'm not usually one to moan, because I equally know that a lot of the time, problems aren't really problems at all, they're just teenage hormones making something out of nothing, making people think 'I'm the only one, no one has it as bad as me'. I know I could never be like that, but nevertheless, this is a problem. This is one of those problems which is a problem. Please forgive me if I moan.

So I thought, last night. It lead to me being very... not ok. I'm never not ok. In fact, look at me, I can barely even bring myself to say how I was feeling, let alone talk about why. But anyway, suffice to say that it was unsettling, so I stayed up until I sorted myself out, because I'm better than that.

I kind of stopped when I imagined what it'd be like in hindsight, looking back from when this is all over and then I suddenly realised that maybe I should listen to all the advice I given to other people. So I did.

And for your information I am a fucking genius.

Even if I did get myself into this mess in the first place. I shall reap what I have sown.
I will be forever haunted by myself, telling me to man it the fuck out.


p.s. I want to tell you everything.

Smalltalk is a fickle bitch

Dear pedestrians,

I want to just talk and talk and talk, but it'd be weird, and there aren't many people who actually want to hear anything other than 'yeah I'm good thanks', and only ask to look like they care, to try and make some sort of conversation in an otherwise dry rendezvous. What if its a lie? What if you're not good? If you say something like 'been better' or 'no', they maybe ask why, and maybe the thought 'what an emo' pops into their head. Then you'd have to tell them, but what if its something you don't think they should hear? What if you know how devistating it might be if they hear. Or... are you just being big-headed? 'aw its nothing really!' Saved - you got off lightly, and the worst they think of you is that you're a little depressed or moany. I guess I've never been a fan of smalltalk, but I've stayed loyal to it all these years. Why? Because its easy. People don't like difficult, people are lazy by default. So society gets what society made - a homogenous, dull, unified average. Just because its easier. I guess I've always been one for smalltalk and bottling it up, but I have good reasons, and they're not just laziness! One day you will all find out, hopefully not in the worst way. I will discuss this in another blog, but I'd love to stay fairly ambiguous.

I think too much, but can you blame me?